December 13, 2010

- Poems that don't rhyme are just really weird sentences that make people feel awkward.



- To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.


- Guess who has The Addams Family theme song stuck in their head?...... You. *snap snap*


- Someone go outside and tell me how cold it is.


- ♫ Oh the weather outside is the weather.... ♫


- Where do you go if you're addicted to rehab?


- I love my husband for his money. On a completely separate note…Ugh! I’m HORRIBLE at math!


- Download this software? Do you Agree? Are you sure? Well, the more times you ask me if I'm sure, the less sure I am!


- I learn from the mistakes of others who have taken my advice.


- I got food poisoning yesterday. I’m just not sure who to use it on yet.


- Does anyone know a good site where I can Google a few things?


- I learned two valuable lessons today: 1. 2. Write down valuable lessons before you forget the valuable lesson.


- I hate sharing a name with someone famous. I'm always telling people, "No, no! I'm not THAT Batman!"


- When a cop asks you, "Do you know why I pulled you over?" It is never a good idea to respond, "Because my tires look like donuts?"


- When you are feeling down because everyone is against you just remember that....Nationwide is on your side.


- I’m an office zombie: Bored to undeath


is "not for everyone. Clinical tests show that ____ may cause nausea, fatigue, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if ____ is right for you."


- I’m just not the same since that house fell on my sister…

- When I go, I want to go like my grandfather, peacefully and asleep. Not like the passengers in his car, screaming for their life.   (Thanks, BlueKnight)